I walk a fine line between the right and the real.
i don't even know anymore.
i'm moving back to melbourne soon. part of me is absolutely busting at the seams to fuck off, and the other half is holding on to anything it can find to keep me here. i suppose it comes to do the fact that i want a new life, but leaving the old one is not something i fancy. i hate change, i guess.
one of my faults? i never know when to give up on a friendship or person. i care for everyone until they hurt me too much, then i become insanely distant. only talk to them when they talk to me, keep it short and simple, throw in a 'few 'lol's to keep it casual so they dont suspect anything. interestingly enough, the person i become distant towards.. doesn't even notice. :|
moving will be good for me. i will have a good new life. i will make new friends. i will find love. i will be accepted. i will be respected.
so why does the fear of loneliness and failure get me so down? why am i so upset to leave these people who treat me like shit anyway?
... everything will be okay.